Like other women I know, I can talk myself into figuring things out. My husband would roll his eyes, but it’s true. I consider it a gift. Recently I shared some information at a Christian creative group gathering, and my good friend pointed out that I had “preached to” myself as I spoke the words.

As mentioned in the last post, my husband and I are on a new journey of retirement for me. One on which I will be receiving very minimal pay, in addition to paying for my own health care. And may I say, the Affordable Healthcare Act is laughable. I’m sure it’s a benefit to people who are at high risk for certain  medical issues, but it was completely unaffordable for me. They offered a plan with a $440 monthly premium and a $7,500 deductible. No way. 

As a result, this situation feels a little like plummeting off the edge of a cliff wondering if my wingsuit will carry me safely to the ground. It all sounded doable in theory, although we never actually plugged numbers into a spreadsheet. For that reason I now question whether we can do this financially.

But I’m not panicking. You see, I’ve been on a similar journey with God in the past. At the very beginning of my relationship with Jesus. It was that journey that I’m documenting in my book.

Without giving away too many details (I still want people to BUY the book!), God had to teach me that He was my provision. Not my job. Not my husband. Not the government. Yes, He might use those things to provide, but it’s coming from Him. For me to learn this, He had to remove all those things from my life. I gave up a job that was so stressful it was destroying me. My husband and I married abruptly a few weeks later. Another three weeks passed, and he left me. I was jobless and alone, with a mortgage to pay and a four year old son to take care of.

I did panic a lot during that early journey. But God always provided. Many times in truly miraculous ways. And He led me day by day as He did so. The journey was terrifying but it taught me to trust Him.

Because He provided in such miraculous ways 30 years ago and has done so many times since, I know I’ll survive this journey. He will provide again. It may not look like I envisioned, but that’s OK. That’s the adventure part of this journey!